The trouble with reverse psychology

It works great in Situation A):

Me: Jane, do NOT eat those lentils.

Jane: (giggling, shoves them into her mouth)

Me: Oh, you make me so mad. I said, DO NOT EAT THEM.

Jane: (rushing to eat as many as possible, still giggling)

Me: I AM NOT JOKING, JANE. I AM NOT TRYING TO TRICK YOU INTO EATING THEM. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

Jane: (plate empty, giggling too hard to eat anyway)


Turns around to bite you in Situation B):

WHACK!

Me: Ow! Jane, don't hit me with that!

Jane: (giggling, wielding a plastic golf club)

WHACK!

Me: Hey! Seriously! That really hurts. Don't do it.

Jane: (wildly thrashing the club about, still giggling)

WHACK!

Me: (realizing the monster I've created, searching desperately for logic a two year old might understand) JANE! THIS ISN'T ONE OF THOSE TIMES WHEN I SAY ONE THING BUT WANT YOU TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. DO NOT HIT ME WITH THAT CLUB!

WHACK!


I blame Dennis Lee.

PS. PEI is way nice. You should visit.