Jane: My hands stink.
Henry: Let me smell.
He takes a big whiff.
Henry: Eeeew. They do smell.
Erin and I look at each other.
Erin: What do they smell like?
Jane: Stinky. Smell them, Dad.
I do not, in any way, want to smell those hands.
I pause a moment. Erin is driving. There is no way I'm getting out of this.
I sniff.
Me: Yuck.
Erin: What do they smell like?
Me: (rubbing my nose) Like, vaguely cheesy?
Henry: (smelling his own hands) My hands smell great.
Erin has some hand sanitizer in her purse. I get it out, reach back, and squirt some in Jane's hands.
Jane: EEEEEEW! That's even worse!
Alice: (holding out her hands) WANT SOME, TOO!
Jane: It's dripping everywhere!
Me: You've got to rub it in.
She rubs for half a second, then smells again.
Jane: Daaaaaad! It's horrible and drippy!
Alice: WANT SOME, TOO!
I reach back to dribble a bit of sanitizer on Alice's hands.
Alice: (sniff) SMELLY!
Jane: (sniff) Daaaaad!
Henry: (sniff) Mine really smell great.
Me: ENOUGH!
Silence.
Me: OK! New rule! No one is allowed to smell their hands anymore. Got it?
All is quiet for a few seconds.
Henry: Can we buy some gum?
